Pushing Through Pain to Get to Joy!

I used to think that joy came through an event, a fulfillment in life, an achieved goal, or a general place of being where things just became better and it would give way for me to experience joy. For a long time I wept asking God where his presence was present in my life in a way where I could feel or experience His joy. I always thought it was after certain promises in life came to pass, or I jumped over the hurdle of a certain amount of pain.

I realized finally that joy is my portion TODAY and RIGHT NOW. I didn’t come to this conclusion until I realized that for me personally, in order to experience fullness of joy, I had to take down the altar in my life of disappointment, hopelessness, past trauma, and all the pain of my past in general.

I realized instead of idolizing my pain, regardless of how valid my pain was, I had to create an altar unto the Lord that exalted HIM and that exalted HIS WORD which is HIS TRUTH for me over my life. My past was not the truth. My current and past disappointments were not the truth. Any hopelessness in certain areas I experienced were not the truth. His word and what is established in His word and His promises over my life is what is the truth. When I started letting go of the past, continually walking in humility, forgiveness, and allowing God to stretch my faith, I then learned I have the opportunity to partner with joy.  

Was my pain valid? Absolutely! I have a long list of horrible things that have happened to me. The enemy has literally tried to attack my life since before I was even born. I am no stranger to extreme heart ache. My problem was that in trying to heal, I was exalting the pain more than I was exalting God. I validated myself by saying “But look how much this hurt God! My pain is valid”.

Yes, my pain was valid, however, I was creating an altar to the pain and an altar to the past, of course I was never going to know what joy was.

I would allow myself to ruminate in the pain of the past and call it “healing”, in reality I was just worshipping the pain instead of worshipping God.

God started to challenge me in not exalting the pain. When I would go into my secret place, my prayer closet, and I would start to cry thinking of the past, He would start to tell me “I did not give you that spirit. I have given you my word, I have given you my Holy Spirit, I have given you my truth, stand on it!”

I had gotten accustomed to coming to the Father like a wounded child who needs a hug and comfort when they’re hurt. When I initially began to go into my healing journey, the Father was so quick, gentle, and faithful to comfort me. He allowed me to cry all the tears I needed to cry and feel all the grief I needed to feel that life did not give me the chance to experience.

At this new season of my life however, it was time for me to grow out of my spiritual pampers, I had to finally grow up. There comes a time you have to stop ruminating in your pain, and speak the truth of the Lord over yourself and whatever situation you're going through.

“Pushing through pain to get to joy” means regardless of what’s going on in your life, you push through it and you partner with God to experience His joy and abundance in your life rather than partnering with the pain.

For me it meant when I would catch myself crying late at night over a broken heart I would have to pick myself up, speak scripture over my life, and put some music on and praise Him regardless of my feelings!

It also meant allowing him to expose the ugly parts of my heart, my life, my actions and not running away from the exposure, embracing the exposure, and being responsible about my healing rather than crying about it. It meant doing all the necessary work it takes to heal in order to get rid of the darkness of my past and to step into the light of my future and in doing so embracing God’s joy over my life.

It was only after I stretched my faith out this way I could enter into the fullness of God’s joy.

Joy is my portion today and tomorrow. Joy is my portion in the storm and the valleys. Joy is my portion in sickness and in health. Joy is my portion all the days of my life.